I came across this link of the 56 best analogies of high school students. Washington post held a contest for the best analogies teachers have seen over the years. I think I am going to start modeling my writing style after this....
1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.
3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
11. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
13. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
14. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
15. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
16. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at asolar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
17. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
18. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
19. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
20. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
21. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
22. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
23. Even in his last years, Grand pappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it hadrusted shut.
24. He felt like he was being hunted down like a dog, in a place that hunts dogs, I suppose.
25. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
26. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
27. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
28. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
29. “Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
30. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
31. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
32. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
33. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
34. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
35. Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “Second Tall Man.”
36. The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
37. The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
38. She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
39. Her pants fit her like a glove, well, maybe more like a mitten, actually.
40. Fishing is like waiting for something that does not happen very often.
41. They were as good friends as the people on “Friends.”
42. Oooo, he smells bad, she thought, as bad as Calvin Klein’s Obsession would smell if it were called Enema and was made from spoiled Spamburgers instead of natural floral fragrances.
43. The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.
44. He was as bald as one of the Three Stooges, either Curly or Larry, you know, the one who goes woo woo woo.
45. The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747.
46. Her eyes were shining like two marbles that someone dropped in mucus and then held up to catch the light.
47. The baseball player stepped out of the box and spit like a fountain statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot and spits brown, rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs for all the little Greek kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas.
48. I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I don’t speak German. Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don’t know the name for those either.
49. She was as unhappy as when someone puts your cake out in the rain, and all the sweet green icing flows down and then you lose the recipe, and on top of that you can’t sing worth a damn.
50. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.
51. It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
52. Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.
53. You know how in “Rocky” he prepares for the fight by punching sides of raw beef? Well, yesterday it was as cold as that meat locker he was in.
54. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
55. Her lips were red and full, like tubes of blood drawn by an inattentive phlebotomist.
56. The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Provo Ultimate
So Frisbee has been going strong this year. Here are some updates on what the world of Frisbee in Provo is doing.
- The BYU team and the Alumni officially separated into two separate teams and organizations leaving the BYU team as the “Destroying Angels” and the Alumni team took on the name “Killjoys”. This is a good move for both teams. It give the BYU team more autonomy and better organization as well, and it gives us old Alumni more organization and an opportunity to develop on our own in the direction we need. This also means that we now have two separate but very competitive teams who can scrimmage each other and improve greatly.
- The Killjoys have elected Dave Kroupa as team captain and Brian Howell as Assistant Team Captain. They will serve in this capacity for a year and the team will reelect new captains.
- We finally found fields that we can use during the winter. This has been a point of woe for as long as there has been competitive ultimate in Provo. During the winter there are no fields with lights to play on at night. Finally we found a field in American Fork that we are able to rent for $25 a night. There is still snow, but it’s leaps and bounds better than not having any fields.
- Killjoys are making an increased effort to get the whole team to condition individually so I have taken up running and parkour which will lead me to my next blog entry.
All in all the Frisbee world is going strong. We have scrimmages every other week against the BYU team and the competitive atmosphere is growing. We also have a few tournaments coming up. The Killjoys team is hosting its first tournament ever on February 26th. Teams who should be there include: Golden Spike Club Team, SUU, USU Alum, BYU, and Killjoys. It’s a small tournament, but it should be a good chance to see some other teams and prepare to the next week where we have another tournament in Vegas.
- The BYU team and the Alumni officially separated into two separate teams and organizations leaving the BYU team as the “Destroying Angels” and the Alumni team took on the name “Killjoys”. This is a good move for both teams. It give the BYU team more autonomy and better organization as well, and it gives us old Alumni more organization and an opportunity to develop on our own in the direction we need. This also means that we now have two separate but very competitive teams who can scrimmage each other and improve greatly.
- The Killjoys have elected Dave Kroupa as team captain and Brian Howell as Assistant Team Captain. They will serve in this capacity for a year and the team will reelect new captains.
- We finally found fields that we can use during the winter. This has been a point of woe for as long as there has been competitive ultimate in Provo. During the winter there are no fields with lights to play on at night. Finally we found a field in American Fork that we are able to rent for $25 a night. There is still snow, but it’s leaps and bounds better than not having any fields.
- Killjoys are making an increased effort to get the whole team to condition individually so I have taken up running and parkour which will lead me to my next blog entry.
All in all the Frisbee world is going strong. We have scrimmages every other week against the BYU team and the competitive atmosphere is growing. We also have a few tournaments coming up. The Killjoys team is hosting its first tournament ever on February 26th. Teams who should be there include: Golden Spike Club Team, SUU, USU Alum, BYU, and Killjoys. It’s a small tournament, but it should be a good chance to see some other teams and prepare to the next week where we have another tournament in Vegas.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
And so I'm back....
Well I basically stopped blogging when I started dating Laurel. Really, I looked at my last blog and it was in January. I started dating Laurel in February. I ran out of time. Then we got engaged and I had less time. Well at least less of the kind of time that you use to write blogs. Then we got married and she wrote all the blogs about the stuff we do. So I had nothing to write about. At least not without being repetitious. So if you are wondering how we are doing, I would like to direct you to her blog.
So what do I write in my blog. Well I make up foods basically every time I cook. I usually don’t like to use recipes. If anything I’ll peruse the cook book to get inspiration, then I’ll put it back into the cupboard and start making things up. So I figured I should start posting the recipes (or something slightly akin to a recipe) of the things I make up on the blog. Now if you see something on here that is just like a recipe you make. I am sorry. I am not so creative as to think up something that has never been thought of before. But at least I thought it up. For example, I made stuffed mushrooms a while back with a few suggestions from Laurel and later on we were perusing the cook book and found a recipe that was rather similar to what I made. The proportions weren’t the same (at least I assume they weren’t because I just randomly threw things together in amounts that “seemed good”). So yeah… perhaps this will be good for those single college bachelors like I was so recently. That is where I got my cooking style from after all.
So today I based my recipe off of Chicken Cordon Bleu. I apologize, I have no pictures. I didn’t think to take a picture of it before I thought to eat it. Maybe next time. I shall call it Stuffed Cream Chicken.
Ingredients
½ Bell Pepper Finely Chopped
¼ Yellow Onions Finely Chopped
1 Roma Tomato Finely Chopped
1 tsp Minced Garlic
Garlic powder
Basil spice
Italian Seasoning
A Large Spoonful of Sour Cream
½ Cup Shredded Mozzarella (optional)
1 tbsp Olive Oil
Butter
Salt
Pepper
2 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts (or however many you want)
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Mix the Bell Pepper, Onions, Tomatoes, Garlic, Sour Cream, Mozzarella and Olive Oil in a bowl. Season it with a little Garlic Salt, Basil, and Italian Seasoning and mix. It should be more chunky than liquidy.
3. Pound the chicken breasts flat with a meat tenderizer (or a hammer would work) until the chicken is about ½ inch thick and salt and pepper the underside.
4. Place the paste from the bowl on the bottom side of the chicken, wrap it up and hold it together with toothpicks.
5. Line a glass baking pan with butter and place the wrapped chicken in it. Then cover the chicken with some leftover paste. You can add vegetables to the pan if you want. Broccoli and carrots work, those make sure the carrots are on the bottom so they get in the liquids, they will cook better that way. They will still come out more crunchy than cooked.
6. Place in the oven and bake for 35 mins or until the chicken is no longer pink inside or anywhere.
7. Remove from the oven and take a picture if you plan to show it off on your blog.
So what do I write in my blog. Well I make up foods basically every time I cook. I usually don’t like to use recipes. If anything I’ll peruse the cook book to get inspiration, then I’ll put it back into the cupboard and start making things up. So I figured I should start posting the recipes (or something slightly akin to a recipe) of the things I make up on the blog. Now if you see something on here that is just like a recipe you make. I am sorry. I am not so creative as to think up something that has never been thought of before. But at least I thought it up. For example, I made stuffed mushrooms a while back with a few suggestions from Laurel and later on we were perusing the cook book and found a recipe that was rather similar to what I made. The proportions weren’t the same (at least I assume they weren’t because I just randomly threw things together in amounts that “seemed good”). So yeah… perhaps this will be good for those single college bachelors like I was so recently. That is where I got my cooking style from after all.
So today I based my recipe off of Chicken Cordon Bleu. I apologize, I have no pictures. I didn’t think to take a picture of it before I thought to eat it. Maybe next time. I shall call it Stuffed Cream Chicken.
Ingredients
½ Bell Pepper Finely Chopped
¼ Yellow Onions Finely Chopped
1 Roma Tomato Finely Chopped
1 tsp Minced Garlic
Garlic powder
Basil spice
Italian Seasoning
A Large Spoonful of Sour Cream
½ Cup Shredded Mozzarella (optional)
1 tbsp Olive Oil
Butter
Salt
Pepper
2 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts (or however many you want)
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Mix the Bell Pepper, Onions, Tomatoes, Garlic, Sour Cream, Mozzarella and Olive Oil in a bowl. Season it with a little Garlic Salt, Basil, and Italian Seasoning and mix. It should be more chunky than liquidy.
3. Pound the chicken breasts flat with a meat tenderizer (or a hammer would work) until the chicken is about ½ inch thick and salt and pepper the underside.
4. Place the paste from the bowl on the bottom side of the chicken, wrap it up and hold it together with toothpicks.
5. Line a glass baking pan with butter and place the wrapped chicken in it. Then cover the chicken with some leftover paste. You can add vegetables to the pan if you want. Broccoli and carrots work, those make sure the carrots are on the bottom so they get in the liquids, they will cook better that way. They will still come out more crunchy than cooked.
6. Place in the oven and bake for 35 mins or until the chicken is no longer pink inside or anywhere.
7. Remove from the oven and take a picture if you plan to show it off on your blog.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Thoughts on thoughts... well without the first thoughts
So every once in a while I have a notebook on hand, and when I do, I decide to write down some of the thoughts I get. Now, for most people it seems like this would be a profound insight into who the person is and possibly a serious thing. Well in my case it is generally weird, sometimes funny, and probably doesn’t make much sense. So here are some random things I wrote down during church. More like those, “Huh, how about that,” kinds of thoughts.”
- Little kids stare at my hair
- Scruff = more compliments
- Marrying is good, merrying is bad.
- If Come Come Ye Saints were written today, it would say “S’all good” instead of “All is well.”
- Would you get a crunchy leaf to step on if you put a green leaf in a fruit dehydrator?”
- I create a vortex when I run… :).
- The general population's average IQ is not as high as I used to assume.
- There’s a market for facebook statuses and the currency is comments.
Now that you all think I’m apostate and don’t pay any attention during church, I will let you keep on thinking that.
- Little kids stare at my hair
- Scruff = more compliments
- Marrying is good, merrying is bad.
- If Come Come Ye Saints were written today, it would say “S’all good” instead of “All is well.”
- Would you get a crunchy leaf to step on if you put a green leaf in a fruit dehydrator?”
- I create a vortex when I run… :).
- The general population's average IQ is not as high as I used to assume.
- There’s a market for facebook statuses and the currency is comments.
Now that you all think I’m apostate and don’t pay any attention during church, I will let you keep on thinking that.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Breakdown Blessings
So I had my first major car break down on Thursday. It just stalled and stopped. I tried to restart it and the engine would crank and turn over, but the engine wouldn’t fire up. So I checked all the fuses and got a guy to help me try to jump the car. That was futile. So I left it parked on the side of the road till the next day where I could get it towed to the garage. So as far as inconvenience goes, this was a very convenient break down. It’s going to be to be a big financial hit but a lot of stuff that could have gone wrong went right. To start the car broke down right in front of my apt. All I had to do was push it over to the side of the road to park it. It happened during the daytime, which is usually better if you want to try to see if you can get it started. It also happened the day before payday. That’s nice. And then at work they had temporarily changed my schedule a couple days before from 5 AM – 1:30 PM to 6-2:30. That means that I was able to take the bus to work in the morning because the bus system starts at 5 AM. Woot. So all in all, I think it worked out pretty well. It’s fixed now and is running smoothly.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
MaD Library Party
So Saturday was the annual Music and Dance Library Christmas Party/Talent Show. I don't work there any more, but I was still invited, so I got together with one of the guys who works there and put together a couple of songs. I couldn't resist using the accordion of course. Could you? Here are a couple of the videos.
** It looks like the page cuts off part of the screen, so I would recommend clicking on the video twice or so to get sent directly to the youtube page.
The recording got started a verse late on this one. The first song is called "Istanbul" and the medley includes in order: Canon in D, Jump (Van Halen), Semi-Charmed Life (Third-Eye Blind), Island in the Sun (Weezer), Viva la Vida (Coldplay), Hey Jude (Beatles).
This was actually a spur of the moment thing. Someone found the music to this song somewhere in the archives at the library and the words were just too amazing to let pass unnoticed. It is originally written for harp, oboe and voice. Unfortunately the harpist got hung up somewhere and couldn't make it, so they asked me if I could accompany the song with the accordion. It turned out to add a nice level of humor to it. It wasn't the best performance, but I had never played nor heard the song before.
The first song is the musical rendition, and then the second is the poetic interpretation.
** It looks like the page cuts off part of the screen, so I would recommend clicking on the video twice or so to get sent directly to the youtube page.
The recording got started a verse late on this one. The first song is called "Istanbul" and the medley includes in order: Canon in D, Jump (Van Halen), Semi-Charmed Life (Third-Eye Blind), Island in the Sun (Weezer), Viva la Vida (Coldplay), Hey Jude (Beatles).
This was actually a spur of the moment thing. Someone found the music to this song somewhere in the archives at the library and the words were just too amazing to let pass unnoticed. It is originally written for harp, oboe and voice. Unfortunately the harpist got hung up somewhere and couldn't make it, so they asked me if I could accompany the song with the accordion. It turned out to add a nice level of humor to it. It wasn't the best performance, but I had never played nor heard the song before.
The first song is the musical rendition, and then the second is the poetic interpretation.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Black Eye
So I’ve come across a new battle wound that I am proud of. I am generally quite proud of battle wounds, regardless of how I got them. So I have a nice black eye. Story of how I got it? Well the best one I came up with was on Sunday when I went to ward prayer in my old ward. I was actually slightly helped by someone else, or at least their help sparked the fire. Someone asked me how I got the black eye and he said “Oh he got mugged.” So I started back, “Well he tried to mug me. He came up and asked for my wallet and I said, NO! give me your jacket! So we fought and he caught me with a right hook in the left eye, but ultimately I got the jacket and he… well you should see him.” It was mostly good because I was wearing a leather jacket at the time. I learned last time I had a black eye that I need to be careful about making up stories. My friend asked me how I got the black eye and I told her that I saved a girl from getting hit by a car and in the process fell over and hit my eye on something… like the curb or something. Well she believed me and told all her roommates and they deemed me the hero of the day. All before I could tell them that it wasn’t true and that I actually got hit in the eye with a Frisbee. I got a guilt trip after that about how I never lie to her. Oops.
This black eye on a side note happened in Frisbee as well. I caught a flailing hand in the eye as someone who was air bound was trying to regain balance. It didn’t really hurt much, but it looks bad enough.
So usually when I see someone who hasn’t seen me in since Saturday they gasp and ask me “What happened?!?!” Sometimes I forget that I actually have a black eye (In fact sometimes I forget so completely that I am surprised to see it when I look in the mirror) and so it takes me a second to actually realize what they are asking about. Then I am faced with the decision of whether or not to tell the truth or make up a story. Usually if I tell the truth they say “You should make up a story.” So in my head I debate what I should do and often it just ends up as an awkward silence as I try to say something but nothing comes out, or I bumble about.
Anyway, here are some pictures.
This black eye on a side note happened in Frisbee as well. I caught a flailing hand in the eye as someone who was air bound was trying to regain balance. It didn’t really hurt much, but it looks bad enough.
So usually when I see someone who hasn’t seen me in since Saturday they gasp and ask me “What happened?!?!” Sometimes I forget that I actually have a black eye (In fact sometimes I forget so completely that I am surprised to see it when I look in the mirror) and so it takes me a second to actually realize what they are asking about. Then I am faced with the decision of whether or not to tell the truth or make up a story. Usually if I tell the truth they say “You should make up a story.” So in my head I debate what I should do and often it just ends up as an awkward silence as I try to say something but nothing comes out, or I bumble about.
Anyway, here are some pictures.
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